I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
is that a dick in a sweater?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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