just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
