We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
