Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
