On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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