just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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