eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
