Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
