this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
