How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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