well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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