i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
