420 ftw
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
