Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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