i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
