Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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