I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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