I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
