Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
