Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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