Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
