Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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