A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
