You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I could fuck to npr.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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