Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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