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I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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