i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.