Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob