There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
