ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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