I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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