So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
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And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
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YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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