Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
