there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
