He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
