You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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