How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
