Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
