ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
