Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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