white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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