Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The best revenge is premature balding
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
