Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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