This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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