Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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