I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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