why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
