If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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