i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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