even my farts smell like vagina
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
