I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
