Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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