so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
