I'm jealous of your bromance
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
