Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
