It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
