Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
