yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
