How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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