He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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